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SUN-URANUS SIRENS
by Simone Butler

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CARYN

The Sun-Uranus dynamic reaches its wildest, most colorful expression in the fiery sign of Leo. Caryn is a dynamic Sun-Uranus Leo whose pals call her the "Redhead Deadhead." For many years, she has supported herself as an administrative assistant while following underground bands all over the country in her spare time.

With Sun-Uranus sitting on her Ascendant along with four other planets in Leo, Caryn has the energy and passion of five people. "You can call me many things, but not normal or boring," she says. Men love Caryn's youthful spirit. "I think it's exciting for them to see somebody who's very vibrant and passionate about music and sports and travel. Who's really living in the now, taking chances and jumping in with both feet."

This includes her sex life, which began at the age of 16. "I was able to have sex the way a man would have sex," she explains. "I didn't even need to get a phone call later. It's been very much for pleasure, without any intimacy or commitment. But now I'm trying not to use sex as a drug. Before it was a way for me to feel better about myself, and now I've found other ways to get there."

At 46, she toys with the idea of settling down-but is loathe to give up her free-wheeling lifestyle, which brings her into contact mostly with younger, often irresponsible men (Chiron in the 7th in Aquarius). "I like things that are a little bit off the grid, and that's why I found this music scene," she says. "But it's not the greatest place to go husband-hunting. Hopefully anybody I'd get involved with would join me and enjoy it too. And if not, I'll see him when I get back."

With Neptune in the 4th house squaring her Sun, Caryn has suffered from her stern father's disapproval. "The four men I've lived with were fun and exciting and had the good recreational drugs," she says, "but being with them was also a way of getting a father figure to take care of me, to provide some stability in my life. Yet at the six month mark almost to the day, I was up and gone."

Like Diana, Caryn often plays the role of gal pal with guys, and has always been a bit of a tomboy. "I had three brothers and no sisters, so I never learned how to be a lady. But it totally hinders my relationships, because a man wants to be with a woman who's soft, and where he can be the leader. Every time I go to dance with a man I instantly start to lead. It's going to take someone with a lot of self esteem to be my mate."

Like Celeste, Caryn is a horse-lover who never wanted kids. "I had my own horse for ten years and that was the closest I came to having a child. I'm just too selfish to be a mother; I don't want to take all that time and energy. I've never even had the yearning to have a baby." (Saturn in the 5th). She also admits to a fear of commitment, or being boxed into a corner. "That's why I never live in one place for too long, I'm always moving around. I'm like a gypsy."

Caryn's colorful, offbeat nature is her Siren call. Most people can't believe she's in her 40s, she says, "because I dress like a teenaged hippie and run around with younger people." Her desire to stand out from the crowd stems from having half her planets in the approval-seeking sign of Leo. Couple that with the high-frequency vibe of Uranus, and you get a person who commands attention. "I see people looking at me all the time; I must have an aura or energy that's just a little more captivating than the average bear," she says with a grin.

Caryn's feelings about her Siren nature have changed over the years. "I used to think there was something wrong with me because I didn't have a man, but now I really get that I may be better off without one. I'm not so needy that I'm just grabbing anything I can get. So many women I know did that, and they're not happy. And they're jealous of me 'cause I'm traveling around and having this exciting life."

Caryn admits there's a part of her that refuses to grow up. But she has recently begun to address her childhood insecurities through therapy, with encouraging results. "I've been working on learning to love and accept myself fully, and now all these guys are looking at me going, God she's a woman who's in her own power, and they're attracted to that. But the funny thing is, now I am being pickier and pickier. I'm not sure I'd want to get married, even if I found the right man."

IS MARRIAGE IN THE STARS FOR US?

I do know a few Sun-Uranus people, men and women, who are happily married or in long-term relationships. A Sun-Uranus Cancer client of mine, who's been married 19 years to a man who is also her business partner in an interior design firm, shared the keys to their success:

1. Affection: "Though sex isn't like it was in the beginning, we are always lovey-dovey."
2. A sense of humor.
3. Separate trips: "so we realize how much we appreciate each other during the absence."
4. Being spontaneous: having surprise dinner parties or taking last-minute trips together.
5. Respecting each other's spaces, privacy and dreams.
6. Allowing each other freedom "to do what we need and allow the other person to grow."

Working and living together can make things complicated for this couple. But the husband's unflappable Aquarian nature helps balance the wife's high-strung temperament. Plus, he's seeking exactly the nurturing yet electric qualities she has to offer (his Descendant is in Cancer with Uranus conjunct it) and he matches her Aquarius Descendant perfectly. Friendship is the core of their connection, and has seen them through life's ups and downs.

When one partner is Uranian, the other needs to be fairly grounded and secure in order for the relationship to work. I was once involved with a Sun-Uranus Libra, but the connection was almost too electric. It started out as a friendship and remains so to this day, but the sexual bond proved too hot to handle, literally burning us out. My most successful relationships have been with Taurus and Capricorn types, who provide the earth I lack. As long as they are respectful of my eccentricities and make room for the presence of magic in our lives, we get along well.

I once met a couple, both architects, who had renovated an old downtown building and split it in half for their separate living spaces. In his, a messy workshop vibe prevailed. Her living and dining area looked like something out of Architectural Digest; this was where they took their meals together. They had separate bedrooms connected by a leafy porch, and could choose to sleep together or not. I have no clue about their astrological charts, but I could see the presence of Uranus at work. Rather than live down the street from my mate, I'd prefer the peaceful co-existence of a situation like this (though my lack of earth demands thick, earthen walls).

So yes, I believe a lasting union is possible for the Siren, if that's her choice. But it's up to her to seek an unconventional relationship that honors for her highly independent spirit and satisfies her deeper spiritual yearnings. In this relationship, her beautiful music falls on receptive ears and awakening occurs-but no one gets injured too badly in the process!

© 2004 Simone Butler. All rights reserved.

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